


If I Stay

by Cozy_coffee



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boyfriends, Cancer, Community: spnkink_meme, Friendship/Love, Hurt Jensen Ackles, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-24 10:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4916419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cozy_coffee/pseuds/Cozy_coffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A fill for the spnkink_meme prompt; J2, Quote Prompt, “Don't go where I can't follow.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I Stay

His heart hurts, it aches fiercely, and he has tears threatening to spill down his freckled cheeks. 

Jensen is scared to death to hear what the doctor might say. His green eyes are bright with fear, his hands clasped tightly in his lap. He prays the test results will be in his favor, but a sinking feeling in his soul tells him the future is dark, bleak at best.

He hasn’t been well since the day that he fell. There’s a bruise on his side, small and black, and it won’t go away. Jensen sits with Jared and holds his hand while Jared's thumb strokes soothingly over the warm skin of his hand, petting in little circles. He leans his head on Jared’s shoulder and tries to believe that everything will be alright, just like Jared keeps telling him.

Later, when the doctor gives him the results and tells him that between the red and white cells something’s not right, when his world completely shatters, he clings to Jared and sobs. His kindhearted boyfriend holds him and kisses him, cradles him lovingly and promises that they will get through this together. Jared is strong, the brave one, even if his heart is breaking. He remembers a few years ago when he lost a friend to cancer. 

The family had held a candlelight memorial and his brother had held him as he cried, broke down into a thousand tiny shattered pieces. Jared holds Jensen now and swears they will conquer this battle. He can’t lose Jensen, his soul mate. He wouldn’t survive the heartbreak. 

One morning, months later, there on his pillow is the cruelest of all surprises. Jensen sits on the bed, sobbing and shaking as he holds a clump of his hair. Jared wraps his arms around him and holds him tenderly, tries to comfort him with love and words of encouragement. He leans in to kiss away Jensen’s tears but his boyfriend pushes him away and cries harder, asks him how he could love him now that he’s weak and frail and losing his hair. 

“I love you because you’re my soul mate.” Jared doesn’t brush away his own tears as he watches Jensen cry. He gently guides Jensen back into his arms and his lover comes willingly and clings to him, sobbing into his chest. Jared kisses Jensen’s freckled, tear-stained cheeks and his sweet soft lips, cradles his head in his gentle palms and promises that they will get through this fight together. “We will kick it in the ass, Jensen. You and me, together; we will beat this. I promise.”

Jensen shakes his head, uncertain of their future--as much as he would like to believe he may beat this illness, he also has to acknowledge that he may lose the biggest fight of his life--but Jared holds onto him tighter, gritting his teeth, refusing to even consider that a day will come when he is without Jensen. “Don’t give up on me, Jensen.” Jared begs, pressing kisses up and down his boyfriend’s cheek. “Don’t give in, you got to fight. You gotta fight harder than you ever have. You cannot leave me, don’t leave me, please. Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

Jensen's fingers curl tight into Jared's skin, clinging, silently promising not to give up. 

Weeks later, against the doctor’s orders, Jensen goes with Jared to Dallas for the ‘Salute to Supernatural’ convention. He needs to be there surrounded by his fandom family, he loves seeing everyone smiling and laughing—he needs a bit of sunshine in his grey sky world. Since announcing his battle with cancer, there has been a vast outpouring of love and support for him by the amazingly warmhearted fans and all of them, like Jared, have been his strength. They are the reason he keeps fighting, why he keeps his promise to kick cancers ass. 

He’s extremely happy to be there with the fans, their adoring love is heartwarming, but he feels self-conscious about having lost all his hair. He chewed his lips and plucked nervously at his shirt as he waited for Richard to announce them on stage. Jared is by his side, as he always has, and he is smiling and soothingly stroking his back, his touch comforting and promising that everything will be alright. 

When he gets on stage, he is given a surprise that brings a sunny-bright smile to his face and tears to his eyes. Every fan in the room—man, women, and child—is without hair; they’d all shaved their heads the night before to show their love and support. Jensen begins to cry, one hand pressing over his mouth to keep his sobs at bay, and he doesn’t brush away the tears; he lets the fans see him cry while Jared holds him. 

Down the road he goes, month after month he keeps calm and carry’s on with the chemotherapy, and never does he walk alone--Jared is by his side, holding his hand and whispering the same promise—everything will be alright. 

When the day comes that Jensen receives news that he is cancer free, healthy and well, he cries in Jared’s arms. He accepts every loving kiss Jared gives him and returns the caresses, each press of his lips, sweet and soft and tender. Within fifteen minutes of the news reaching the fans, hundreds upon hundreds of supportive messages have poured in. As Jensen reads each one, snuggled in Jared’s strong arms with his head on Jared's chest, he feels extremely grateful, blessed. 

Had it not been for Jared and the fans, he knows he never would’ve had the courage and will power to conquer the fight for his life. 

♥END♥

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: jonjokeat, Song by Rascal flats, Sara Beth
> 
> [Written for this prompt!](http://spnkink-meme.livejournal.com/75489.html?thread=26965473#t26965473)


End file.
